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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29394747">Hopless, Not Romantic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shotoshawty/pseuds/shotoshawty'>shotoshawty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love, Love/Hate, Sad, Unrequited, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:56:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29394747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shotoshawty/pseuds/shotoshawty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the song  "What You Heard" by Sonder.  The reader is consumed by their feelings of unrequited love with Iwaizumi Hajime.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hopless, Not Romantic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What you mean, you and me?”</p>
<p>“I’m here all by myself.”</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>It was cold. Not the grab a sweater and curl up with a nice blanket cold. It was a dreadful cold. A cold that burrows beneath your skin.</p>
<p>It hugged you, yes, but not in the reassuring way. It made fun of you, it mocked you. It drained the warmth from your body, taking whatever it could. </p>
<p>It knew you would be there, waiting for it’s embrace, accepting the manipulation. It knew the consequence against your heart was never enough to make you leave. </p>
<p>The taunting, you clung to it, knowing it would never be close enough. </p>
<p>Grasping at the shattered pieces the presence had left, keeping what you could to mend your broken heart. </p>
<p>You could never wait for the feeling of that touch, that touch that will never touch you enough- chasing a high you would never reach only fed to your addiction.</p>
<p>That addiction was unrequited love. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Your eyes blinked slowly, regaining consciousness. The memories flooded in from last night, making your head pound from regret. You winced in pain. </p>
<p>You direct your gaze to the man beside you, scanning over the arms wrapped around your torso. The cold arms that kept you far away, but held you so dear. </p>
<p>Dragging your fingertips across his forearm, your heart yearned to feel the slightest bit of warmth. It feigned for the glue that could patch the growing hole inside of your heart. </p>
<p>You gently placed Iwa’s arm to the side as you slid out of his bed. The mattress rose against your body in return. You made your way around the room, collecting your clothes which had been scattered around the room from last night's events.</p>
<p>You slid the uncomfortable denim over your legs, and threw on your t-shirt. Making your way to the front door you put your shoes on. You went to reach for the silver handle until you felt those same cold arms around you again. His head placed gently in the crook of your neck as he held you from behind. </p>
<p>“Don’t leave me yet, please” he said. His tone was so innocent, it begged you to stay. </p>
<p>Don't stay, you know you can’t. </p>
<p>“Haji- I can’t” you responded in a monotone voice. </p>
<p>Tears brimmed in your eyes as the cold arms released their hold around your back. You stepped out of the apartment and heard the locks latch behind you without looking back. </p>
<p>You told yourself no more. You needed to stop. He didn’t love you the way you loved him. He didn’t look at you like the way you looked at him. That’s the way it will always be. </p>
<p>It was over. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>A few weeks had passed since you had last seen Iwa. You wanted to call him, to hear the voice you were infatuated with. You wanted to do anything to fill the hole that had been left in your heart.</p>
<p> But, it was done now, for good. </p>
<p>Tonight was the worst you have felt since the “breakup”. You had kept busy to hide from your emotions. You even made sure not to walk the same routes you had before so you wouldn’t cross paths with Iwa on campus. </p>
<p>Everything about him was deleted on your phone. You blocked his number and took him off all your socials. You felt it was easier to deal with the pain this way. </p>
<p>You scolded yourself for your stupidity. You should’ve known this was never going to work out. You were never going to be the one he changed for. You were his toy and he could use you whenever he wanted. Except you weren’t his only toy.</p>
<p>The reason he kept you around the longest was because you were the convenient one.</p>
<p>The easiest to access.</p>
<p>The saddest part was that you knew it too, yet you stayed in his chilling arms.</p>
<p>You thought back to your first incident with Iwa. He was known as a player among campus, it wasn’t new. You had met him at a party about a year ago. He was charismatic and charming. You had been captivated since the moment you laid your eyes on him. </p>
<p>Ever since then you two would hook up for fun, at least on his end. It didn’t take long for you to fall in love, rendering his touch colder after every incident.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>You needed to leave the house, the thoughts were becoming too much for you to handle. </p>
<p>You threw the sweatshirt over your head and grabbed a pair of shoes from your closet. Grabbing your car keys, you left the apartment. The weather wasn’t too bad in California that night, so you rolled down your windows to let the wind blow against your face.</p>
<p>You pulled the car into the parking lot of your favorite beach. You often came here to think stuff out or hang out with friends. You hurried up the sand and headed towards the water. You slipped off your shoes and stepped into the ocean. </p>
<p>The waves crashed against your legs. You could see the faint reflection of yourself in the water as it neared you. You didn’t like what you saw. The reflection didn’t look like you, it wasn’t you. It was the presence you hated.</p>
<p>That cold you tried so hard to escape, had only made its way into you.</p>
<p>The presence was suffocating. It took your warmth until there was nothing left at all. Nothing left, but the frigid hole you called a heart. </p>
<p>You sunk into the sand, watching the moon’s rays reflect over the endless miles of water. A faint ringing hit your ears. </p>
<p>A notification made your phone go off. You reached for it, wishing it was Iwa on the other end. You wanted him to be the one to text first, the one to call first, the one to talk first, you wanted to be his first choice. </p>
<p>“Let go” you silently reminded yourself. </p>
<p>You shook your head and decided it was time to go back, so you grabbed your shoes from next to you and began your walk back up to the car.</p>
<p>You stuck the keys into the ignition, waiting for the roar of the engine. You were about to leave until you heard a car door close beside you. You took notice of a girl getting out of the passenger side from the car. Her laughs echoed throughout the nice sky. The way she had laughed made it seem like she was with an s/o of some sort.</p>
<p>You saw a man get out of the driver’s side, unable to tell who it was until the moon’s light had illuminated his face. The man you were so desperately in love with, stood next to your car, holding another girl in his arms.</p>
<p>Your heart pounded against your chest. The beats drowned inside of your ears. </p>
<p>You wanted to drive off right then, but you couldn’t move. Nothing was working. Your eyes stayed glued on the seemingly perfect couple in front of you. </p>
<p>That should be you, not her. Your hands tightened their grip on the wheel. You could feel the tears pooling in your eyes. </p>
<p>Why did he never look at you like that? Why is he holding her like that? Why was my good, not good enough?</p>
<p>You rubbed your eyes in denial. You had to be hallucinating.</p>
<p>But, deep down you knew the man you loved was in front of you, holding another girl with the same warmth you had craved for so long.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed. i plan on writing a part two so stay tuned</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you so much for reading! i hope this made you feel sad in the best way possible! ♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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